“One Word”


Thank you Lord for the molding and reshaping of the heart. I feel it happening as I continue to pray. Action from the heart is what I long for, especially for the things I know and believe in.

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – Matthew 7:13-24

So many times have I heard this, but now understand it’s meaning. It’s all about the heart. From it, and with it a human can do anything. God doesn’t want a person to know of him in their head and lead a good life. He asks for a revival of the heart, a transfiguration, a remolding, a heart driven to choose him daily because it wants to and not because it is demanded to.

Good life? What does that truly mean? Too long have I lived my life wanting to be good for the selfish reasons. I am good, because it is demanded of me everywhere I look. Why am I not good because I want to be. I am afraid sometimes of the thoughts and feelings that flow from my heart. Recently I’ve asked God, why is it that I think the things I do. I heard him respond through others. And what I contrasted between them and I is that there’s no action from my heart, but that only of my knowledge.

My friends and family, are what make up my life, not a bad thing, but it could be when there are in the wrong priority listing. You see, to Love God, is to have Him at the forefront of our mind, number one, and not everything else. So many times have I mistakenly placed friends and family before God and I have seen the weakening of my relationship with Yahweh. But no more. Last week, I can’t even describe the magnitude of how upset I was at myself and my heart. The passivity of my life was letting every wrongness pass by with out check. Comments, thoughts, and actions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an evil person, or by the world’s standards I’m not. However, by God’s standards I’m no where even close to being a good person. That’s why I am so thankful for His son, J-Dawg, JC, Dude, Father, Abba, Holy Spirit, God, Jesus Christ. And it hurt to know that the Man that saved my life was second, and I was ticked!

Too many times I’ve prayed, “God, I am sorry for what I have done. I promise the next time I’m in this situation or that situation… I’ll look to you and respond differently” and have failed. Because of this meaningless mental, physical, spiritual game I played has made my heart uncertain of the foundation of my beliefs. I find myself asking, “God why can’t I overcome this. Why aren’t you helping me overcome this. I know it’s not about me overcoming this, but you doing it for me, why?!” and then it hits me. I’m trying to receive God’s help with out my heart.

My heart. Where is it? Can you help me, I must have lost it between the transition of boyhood to older boyhood.

I find myself seeking to find a relationship with a woman, to pursue her, to win her heart, to have a relationship with the intended that I can put my heart into, but have realized I haven’t even went seeking to find my own heart. I’ve over the years collected knowledge and schematics of what one should look like and mimic the image portrayed by movies and tv… but Man was I wrong. No, boy was I wrong. To be a Man, I must search for my heart. Not in this culture, city, or world because that would certainly lead me back to where I am now. No, I must search for my heart where God intended a Man to find his heart, and that is in the Bible.

The stories of sacrifice for true justice, bravery above all odds, faith to the end in certain of death, a gladiator strength mentally-spiritually-(and even)physically, given to all, by God, to those Men who choose to seek it and live for it because they are in Love with their Creator.

My heart is being fought for, re configured, and is downloading from the true source this time, so that, I can find what it truly means to be a Man with a heart after God.

God, I feel my heart changing as I write this, and I pray that you continue to help me find my heart and rescue it from the grasp of the devil. It’s not his and I want it back. Give me Ephesians 6:11-13 so that I can fight for it and win it back.

“11Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” -Ephesians 6:11-13


Encouragement to everyone that may read this, and understand, your not alone, male or female, in this struggle to fight for your heart. But do know seeking God is the only armor and weapon you’ll truly need. And then beside him, standing to the right after Christ and the Holy Spirit, for a little extra encouragement, your God driven friends and family.

Wow. Praise be to God.

(Backstory: What spawned this whole deal with searching for my heart, came after listening to the first chapter of, “Wild at Heart.” Can’t wait to see what the other chapters have in store.)

The day after starting to listen to, "Wild at Heart", I traveled out to Natural Bridge outside Slade, Ky., and I conquered that mountain like nothing else. The intent was to seek God, but once out there, I saw that He just wanted me to explore his creation.


Desires of this Life

So for the past couple days my body has been on the fritz, again, not going to lie it kind of stinks staying up till 4-5am in the morning not being able to sleep because your job forces you to stay up late, messing up your sleeping patterns. I feel antsy, not tired, hungry (of course, what do you expect guys are always hungry), thirsty, a desiring to put my body to sleep enabling it to recharge for the day ahead. The other day I stayed up so late, my eyes burned because they too were exhausted from the continuous glaring at my ceiling wall, It’s quite plain if you ask me but I have noticed it reminds me of mountains I once saw while traveling across the US and I miss them something awful. I think next summer I will go traveling again to explore more of the great land called the US.

Anyways the reason I’m typing this now is because of this morning, at church, a friend of mine was speaking and through out the entire time he was on stage, all I was thinking about was how tired I was, and how I wanted to retreat back into bed and cover my eyes drifting into more hours of uninterrupted rest. But somewhere else in my body, my soul, I heard God saying again don’t worry you got out of bed on a good day, be patient and listen for what he is about to say. Of course though even though I was drifting in and out of sleep during the first 30min of his sermon, I could’ve past a pop quiz after, if they would have given one, on what he was talking about and the passage he was describing. He was talking about the passage in Mark 2.

And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, My son, your sins are forgiven. Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone? And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, Why do you question these things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, Your sins are forgiven, or to say, Rise, take up your bed and walk? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins—he said to the paralytic— I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home. And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, We never saw anything like this! -Mark 2:1-12

Now during this walk through in Mark 2, I heard these three things:

1) Christ again was out and about living life with the sinners, teaching to them the word of God.

2) Christ healed a paralytic man, whom was lowered into the house in which Jesus was in, by four friends.

3) Christ proclaiming that he was the Son of God.

Now those three things are very important, but not the main point of what I learned this morning. What I learned came after the discussion of what happened in Mark 2. Rob, my friend, goes on to say that we sometime miss a key part to this story. The part missing, is the desire of the paralytic’s heart. This is what got me. When lowered into the house the desire for the paralytic man, and the four friends were to heal the broken body. It’s funny though, from creation in Genesis, God created man and woman in likeness of him with a desire to be with him. So in this parable, it’s funny that the desire the paralytic man has in his heart is to be healed from his illness, and that he goes to the Son of God, the true place of our desire yearns for, and asks him if he could heal him (Christ can read the mans heart already without him speaking a word). And then this is the part where Rob says, how many times do we run to God asking him for worldly desires, when everything we really yearn and desire is the one we go to and ask for such things. It shouldn’t be an action that we go to God and ask for desires through him, but that we just simply ask for and to be with Christ, our true desire in life.

Then this is when I thought about myself. How many times have I asked for things I’ve desired, from the one I should be desiring. How many times?

Before this week, I’ve felt God pushing me this way in thinking, and it sunk in today. That is why I’m going to continue what I’m doing but with a different mind set of what desire. From now on I’m not going to go to God asking God for worldly desires for, when what he really wants is for us to desire him. God will provide and place things in my life that will make me happy, I know this, but I also know that this life will not be easy by any means. That is why I keep praying that when I walk with you God that you twist and turn the Earth and place me where you need me to be.

Desiring Christ, because he first Loved me, so I’m going to Love him back through others.

I write this not to boast and say, see this is what God is doing for me, but I write it so that others can find encouragement in it and understand and learn as well, through what God has taught me this week. Desire God, Desire God for Others.

Happy 4th of July!

– Max


Student Renewal Week – [Speaker] Jared Bishop

Sinner’s have nothing, so when they are brought to Christ they’ll give everything to keep him.

Christians who grow up (I’m victim to this as well) kind of have Christ all their lives, starting from an early age if born into a Christian household. This isn’t a bad thing I’m just saying we/I take him for granted, and while doing this we run from him pursuing idols and material things rather than pursuing God. Seeking non-God idols will lead us down a path of unwanted, tireless messes. Like David after committing adultery with Bathsheba in Psalms 51:10-12, I ask God to…

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

Parable of the Two Sons [Matthew 21:28-32]

“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, Son, go and work in the vineyard today. And he answered, I will not, but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, I go, sir, but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father? They said, The first. Jesus said to them, Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you.

For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him.”